You know, I had a thought this week. Unlike most of my ideas that are better left alone, I decided to go with this one. What you're about to read is stated in the headline. Whether this will turn into an annual event depends on your reactions, but at any rate the doctor is in.
What I'm about to do is to rate the state of the sports world using bowling terms. To help you understand my mindset (if that's even possible) I will give you my ratings system. I can hop on the bandwagon by rating an event "good" or "excellent" or I might bemoan a situation by using a not so happy bowling term. Here is my less than scientific rating scale.
Turkey: When a bowler throws three strikes in a row we tend to be very happy. Therefore, this term becomes my highest rating.
Strike: This is what we attempt to do each and every frame. Though it doesn't always happen, it is our goal. This would be the equivalent of an excellent rating.
Spare: On my bowling team we jokingly talk about spares being a good thing. When you get tapped, you are not happy, but you need to pick up the spare because spares are a good thing.
Split: This term basically means "could be good, could be bad." When a bowler leaves a split, that's bad. But convert it and you smile and that's good.
Open: Bowlers try to stay clean throughout the game. All spares and strikes make for a good game. Open frames do not. So in this rating system we are not talking about "open for discussion." We are saying open is not good.
Gutter: This is something all bowlers try to avoid on the first ball of a frame. It is very embarrassing and not good for your score. Gutter gets my worst rating.
So now that you know what I'm about to do, stop wondering what's wrong with me and read on. I am going to give you the latest news in the world of sports along with Ol' Doc's rating.
Albert Pujols signs a contract with the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim (or whatever they go by now) for a salary of $254 million over 10 years.
Apparently all this talk about our economy being in the tank has not been acknowledged by major league baseball. Now Albert Pujols arguably is the best player in the game but this amount of money is obscene. Rating the deal is not easy, though.
For Albert it's a turkey. For the fans of the Angels it is at the very least a strike. Win the next several World Series and it's a great deal. For the Angels, it is a split. If Albert comes up lame in the next couple of years (see Peyton Manning, Brandon Roy or Sidney Crosby) this deal will be lurching for the gutter!
Kurt Busch and Penske Racing part ways.
Though both parties say it was a mutual breakup, it is obvious to race fans that Kurt's boorish behavior took him out of NASCAR Sprint Cup racing. He may resurface because he has the talent, but he may not because sponsor dollars are hard to come by and those folks expect appropriate behavior for the millions they are shelling out.
At the very least this qualifies for an open rating. If younger brother Kyle doesn't learn from this, the Busch family will be heading for that gutter.
Carey, Mohawk and Seneca East high schools are leaving the Midland Athletic League and teaming up with some schools from the North Central Conference to form a new athletic conference. The remaining nine MAL schools will likely look to add other members, while the four NCC schools that are left will have to look elsewhere.
The breakup of these conferences has to be given the rating of split at this point. The first ball has been thrown and things don't look that rosy for some schools. The second ball may convert that split though and things may work out for all the schools. Time will tell.
The Cleveland Browns gave the Pittsburgh Steelers a good game Thursday night, but the Clowns are on their way to another miserable season.
A friend of mine told me the other day that he has been a Browns' fan for 60 years, but this is it. Next year he is going to root for another team. I know what his rating would be, but I am going to give the Brownies a split. There is some talent on that team and like most Cleveland sports fans, I am a believer that hope springs eternal.
Tiffin Columbian is considering canceling its spring sports.
For years I have been trying to figure out a way to convince Columbian to add bowling as a varsity sport and then this news hits. I can't fathom what a school without extracurricular activities would be like. I know it would likely not be a happy or productive place. Kids need something outside the classroom to look forward to. If this occurs I know what rating would have to be given to the move.
I also know that there likely isn't one board member that WANTS to scrap athletics, but the school is in a very difficult financial position. I just wish there was something that can be done to prevent the loss of sports programs. Maybe, just maybe, there is.
Hey, hey, hey ? Fat Albert. You can't possibly spend all that loot the Angels are giving you. If you could just funnel some of that dough to us
Steve Steinmetz Jr. shot 693 to top the Tuesday Night League at the K of C Lanes. Jim Lord had 636, Dave Depinet 597, Bill Lord 589, Kevin Orians 587, Chris Johnson 555 and Doug Snyder 549. In the Senior League Bennett Paulus shot 524, Joe Zirger 521, Doug Snyder 511 and Tim Gassner 505. Scores from the 55 Plus League included Jim Ruess 608, Paul Gosche 558, Dick Gabel 530, Rick Hanna 529, Harry Smith 505 and Dan Coppes 500. In the Lady Knights League, Deb Hoerig shot 457, Marilyn Gangluff 434, Madonna Gase 427, Nerita Streacker 422, Julie Fortner 411, Carol Burmeister 410, Pat Distel 410, Brie Streacker 406 and Marge Wilhelm 397.
Rich Yates Jr. posted a 664 to top the Sportsman League. Ken Butturff Jr. had 663, Tom Wilkinson 660, Greg Tiell 659, Dick Gabel 639, Kevin Fitch 639, Ron Yentzer 626, Mike Kimmet 620, Phil Neikirk 613, Chris Peck 611 and Chris Johnson 609. In the Alley Cats League, Robin Dickman shot 616, Diane Hoover 527, Jan Houk 514 and Pat Cook 484. Rocket League scores included Tyson Shope 665, Tom Tiell 627, Dave Coppus 595, Tim Sturgill 562, Dave Kirian 549, Dottie Funk 492 and Virginia Vanover 474.
In the Sunday Night Rock N Roll League, Mark Phillips led the way with 660. Brian Kidwell shot 635, Dirk Nimocks 628, Gary Golden 621, Dottie Funk 484 and Ashley Gibson 440. Big 8 League scores included Mark Baxter 671, Scott Washburn 658, Brett Babcock 650, Rich Yates, Jr. 647, John Sauers 646, Jack Book 641, Chris King 612, Wilmer Clem 610, Dave Ross 601 and Ken Bauman 600. Steve Peer topped the Imperial-Majorette League with 625 while Ben Hoyda shot 610, Steve Steinmetz Sr. 587, Rhonda Fitch 527, Kellie Faust 475 and Deb Nominee 462. In the Twilight League, Steve Barnes shot 648, Eric Smith 624, Rhonda Fitch 612, Tim Sturgill 606, Tom Tiell 605, Robin Brownell 533 and Michelle Wagner 467.
Al Stephenson is The A-T's Bowling columnist.
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