Here's some bowling terminology you can't possibly know about

Now that I am officially a senior citizen (I have the Medicare card to prove it), one would assume I know just about all there is to the sport of bowling. One would think that. One also would be wrong. Very wrong! While searching the internet for tidbits about bowling, I ran across some bowling terms. Actually there were a few hundred of them, most with definitions. As I perused the list, many were very familiar. A few, however, were totally new to me. As a public service, I am going to share some of them with you. If you have heard of all of these, then you are very, very smart – or really, really old! Let’s take a look. FOUNDATE: I’m starting you off with an easy one. Anybody who has bowled in a league format knows that the foundation frame is the ninth. You want to set your team up with a good chance of winning the game in the tenth by having a good previous frame. On my team, if we are behind in the game, we will look to have a double foundate. That means we need a good showing in the eighth and ninth frames to have a chance to win. Now things will get a little tougher. BUZZARD. This term refers to three consecutive open frames. One open frame can be frustrating, but three in a row? When this happens to me, I sometimes use a little colorful language – real quietly, of course! APPLE: OK, this was a new one to me. An apple refers to the bowling ball. Some people like to call it a rock – I do frequently – while others use the term apple. Another less-than-flattering definition for this term is someone who struggles in the clutch. Apparently one doesn’t mind using an apple, they just don’t want to be called one. ANKLE SHOT. I must admit this one had me puzzled. Then I read the definition and had to laugh. An ankle shot is one in which the bowler hits his ankle with the ball. Of course it is. Have you done this? I have bumped my leg, but don’t recall hitting my ankle. That may well be because I don’t bend down far enough to do so. Hey, bending over at my age is not that easy! GORDIE HOWE: We all know that Howe was a great hockey player. I have heard his name used on the golf course. When a player has a putt conceded or simply has taken as many strokes as he is willing to count – he will keep tapping the ball with his putter until it finally goes in. You know, like using your hockey stick to control the puck. In bowling, a Gordie Howe means throwing nine consecutive strikes. That’s what it said and no definition was given. So there! JIM J. BULLOCK: Many of you probably remember this actor. Well, in bowling a Jim J. Bullock means you have thrown one strike. Apparently, Mr. Bullock was ensconced in the upper left corner of Hollywood Squares in the 1980s. If you started the game with him and guessed correctly you stated the game off with an X. Get it? HAM-TURKEY DINNER: No we are not referring to your pre-league buffet. This means seven strikes in a row. A hambone is four in a row. A turkey is three in a row. Put the two together I never said that the person who came up with these sayings was real intelligent. JACOB: Before I tell you what this means – I have no idea who the guy is. A Jacob, however, means you converted the spare after throwing a gutter ball on your first shot of the frame. Since I rarely throw a gutter ball (last Monday night was an exception!), converting a spare by knocking down all 10 pins has not happened to me. Apparently, that’s not the case with Jacob. ONE DAY FROM RETIREMENT: Throw the front eleven strikes in a game and this term may pop up. I think if I could finally throw a perfect game I just might retire. I had a friend that did something similar. He was struggling big time in a state bowling singles tournament. Finally, he threw one right in the sock and 10 pins went into the pit. He waited for his ball to return before picking it up and making an announcement. He said, “guys – you can’t improve on perfection” and promptly left the bowling alley. He never bowled again. TIMMY: All right, let me apologize to any bowler with this name. You likely are to get a stiff neck from trying to find out who called your name assuming these terms catch on. This term can only be used by a right handed bowler. These guys tend to leave a lot of 10 pins, but sometimes it is the 7 pin that stands alone. The 7 pin is like leaving a 10 pin in the mirror. Since that is a mouthful to shout when you leave the seven – it was shortened to TIM (tenpin in the mirror) and eventually became a Timmy! A more thorough definition suggested that it also had something to do with a South Park character with the same name, but I couldn’t even figure out the first part of the definition! So there you have it. Listen for these terms at a bowling alley near you. Imperial-Majorette: Steve Steinmetz Jr. 722, Roger Kramer 680, Ben Hoyda 617, Deb Nominee 543, Phyllis Riley 450 and Linda Brookes 431. Wednesday Morning: Dave Jones 719, Pat McCarthy 620, Jeff Chance 610, Ken Lofton 602, Mark Phillips 595, Beth Jones 523, Dianne Smith 482 and Deb Phillips 476. Tuesday Night: Doug Snyder 582, Chris Johnson 575, Bill Lord 574, Aaron Sherman 562, James Lord 545, Ken Gaietto 534 and Justin Hoepf 531. Lady Knights: Madonna Gase 459, Tammy Schalk 446, Carol Burmeister 446, Marilyn Gangluff 440, Deb Hoerig 427, Linda Kimmet 409 and Lela Gaietto 398. Senior: Doug Snyder 600, Herb Sendelbach 582, Bennett Paulus 575, Tim Gassner 525 and Joe Zirger 524. Alley Cats: Wendy Krupp 530, Kathy Breidenbach 521, Robyn Wight 511, Pat Cook 508 and Deb Cleveland 487. Sportsman: Rich Yates Jr. 687, Scott Hartsel 667, Jim Mason 662, Lance Davis 662, Rich Yates Sr. 631, Tom Wilkinson 598 and Chris Rhodes 591. 55 Plus: Paul Gosche 555, Jerry Gillig 509, Bob Cleveland 508, Jim Donaldson 498, Al Thomas 480, Bob Reinhart 471, Bill Mizen 465, John Ferstler 453, Ken Jones 440, Dave Everhart 406 and Jim Ferstler 405. Allen Eiry: Ed Wise 347, Christine Smith 342, Ken Jones 329, Bob Reinhart 321, Jim Donaldson 309, Harry Smith 308, Dave Everhart 302, Phil Miller 285, Joanne Elchert 274, Linda Reinhart 268 and Sandy Smith 260. Rocket: Dave Jones 658, Shawn Fitch 656, Tim Sturgill 641, Dean Distel 616, Samantha Wiley 607, Roger Coppus 600 and Beth Jones 584. Al Stephenson is The Advertiser-Tribune bowling columnist. Read his blog at: www.advertiser-tribune.com