Sorry – but I will not pay to attend these sporting events

Last week I listed six sporting events that I would pay to attend. There were some stipulations to them, but I would be willing to shell out some serious funds to be a spectator at the Olympic Games, NCAA March Madness basketball action, the Masters golftournament, the World Series, the Daytona 500 or the Super Bowl.I'm not likely to ever get to one of those events, but I would pay to go. My list this week includes another six "events" related to the sports world. This list however, is my "not interested" variety. You could not force me to attend one of these if I had to pay to do so. You can, and most likely will, disagree with my assessments. For better or worse, here are my thoughts.1 – Sumo Wrestling. Very large men wearing diapers try to push each other out of a ring in this sport. No thanks. I once saw a wrestler pushed off balance and he landed on spectators sitting in the front row. Yikes.I could be talked into part of their training though. To be tough to move out of the ring, a Sumo wrestler must keep his weight up. I could handle tackling the massive meals they must consume. Some people think I have already been training for a Sumo wrestling bout for much of my life!2 – A $1,000,000 pickleball match. The contestants for this event include Andy Roddick, John McEnroe, Andrei Agassi and Michael Chang. Now granted this is an exclusive list of who's who in the tennis world, but they are slightly past their prime.If I had the chance to see them play tennis in their prime (a sport I don't closely follow) I would have paid for that opportunity. But now that they are older and playing a mini-version of tennis – no way. Pickleballers may not want to hear this, but I think I'll save my money for another family pack of hot dogs (see #1 above).3 – Mixed Martial Arts. In this "sport" contestants can punch, kick or wrestle their opponent into submission. It seems the goal is to make a bloody pulp out of your opposition and to that I say "I'll pass."I'm not a fan of boxing and the thought of getting bloodied does not appeal to me. In fact I believe I would rather have a Sumo wrestler fall on me than climb into the ring with a person that wants to rip my head off. Well, I think...4 – A Cornhole Tournament. Now I find the game of cornhole interesting. I have played at least a half dozen times and my skill level is, well, not good. For me success is when one of the bags I toss comes "close" to the BOARD!I have also watched a tournament on TV (yes, there is such a thing) and those guys are incredible. I watched two guys throw four successive bags into the HOLE. Do you really think I would want to pay money to let guys show me how bad I really am at the game?5 – The World Cup. I am aware that this one will be controversial. Soccer is the most popular sport in the world and Americans are increasingly getting more supportive of it. So I am sorry, but the game simply does nothing for me.In 2010 when the World Cup was played in South Africa a very interesting horn made the game almost unbearable to watch. Do you remember the vuvuzelas? Players and fans alike were so annoyed that they were banned from subsequent World Cup competitions.Now aside from that noisy thing and the lack of scoring, I can appreciate the skills of soccer players. Perhaps the most impressive feat is the bicycle kick. How a person contorts themselves into the position to even try one of those is amazing. My concern would be the landing and whether they could get a crane on to the pitch to remove what was left of my body!So you can go, but I'm staying home and saving my money by watching Big Bang Theory reruns.6 – Any LIV golf tournament. As a person who loves the game of golf, I have been watching the new LIV league with interest. I try not to judge people, but these guys who have left the PGA and European Tours for easy pay days have left me a little angry.Originally I thought if they want to bolt, who am I to suggest they should not. I did not agree with the people who said that anyone (meaning me) would have done the same thing. How, if that is correct, do you explain the golfers who chose to turn down the offer and stay put. And no, an offer to me was not forthcoming!The source of the funding for this new league was from a country that has a terrible record on human rights. That begged the question "would you accept money from someone who had robbed a bank to get it?" I would not.The LIV golfers knew when they made the decision to leave that they would not be welcomed back from whence they came. That has not stopped them from complaining about not getting world ranking points or being allowed to play in the majors. They could have laughed all the way to the bank, but they want more. Most of these guys were pretty wealthy before LIV came along. How much money is enough?Finally I have always thought of the game of golf as a gentleman's game. You report your own mistakes and play the game the way it was intended. A story about Darren Clarke proves this theory.He drove his tee shot into some deep rough on the final day of a tournament. The skies opened up and play was suspended until the next day. When he returned to the spot he would play from, the grass was matted down and he had a shot to the green. He instead chipped out into the fairway, because that would have been the only thing he could have done the day before.The act cost him the tournament, but he was not unhappy. "That is the way the game is supposed to be played" was his explanation.So LIV golfers, you can wear your shorts and play 54 holes with music blaring if you want. I just won't be there to watch you!If you have a bucket list of events you would love to attend or some other "stinkers" that you would not, give me a buzz. A follow up column with your thoughts could be forthcoming.