Swapping stories during breaks in a round of golf

This past Wednesday found me traveling to Chippewa Golf Club with the intent to play depending on the number of golfers. I have been fighting some nagging injuries (including old age) that have prevented me from playing as much as I would like. As more linksters showed up, there was no guarantee that I would be teeing it up. Eventually fifteen golfers prepared for action and that number included me. It would be my second round this season. The usual procedure is to draw for partners. We would have three foursomes and one threesome. My draw put me in the threesome. So Carver, Dean and I headed for the first tee. We would go first as the prevailing theory is that three golfers will play faster than four. That of course is not guaranteed and really does not matter if there is a foursome ahead of our first group. There was indeed four golfers in front of us and that meant that we would have plenty of delays. That was OK though. It was a beautiful day and gave us plenty of time to sit in our carts and tell stories. We could have spent a lot of time talking about some of the great shots we hit that day… if only there had been any! To be sure, we all hit some decent shots, just none that we would be sharing with others in the clubhouse afterwards. Instead the highlight of the day may well have been some stories that were shared while we waited on yet another shot attempt. One that was mentioned was a story that legendary Notre Dame coach Lou Holtz once told. He apparently had the chance to play a round of golf with Arnold Palmer. As Holtz related, he was playing miserably for several holes and eventually he came to the conclusion that he needed to apologize to Palmer for his game. He apologized for his poor play before adding that he didn't remember the last time he had played so badly. Arnie's response was classic as he said: "oh, you've played before!" Another golf story that was remembered happened several years ago at a PGA Tour event. John Daly came to the tee on a short par 4 which he could easily drive. Instead he chose to use an iron and lay up. The announcers in the tower couldn't believe he didn't go for the green and asked the commentator on the course with Daly's group – one David Feherty – to ask Daly why he didn't go for the green. John Daly was known for having a bit of a temper and Feherty wanted nothing to do with that. His response to his colleagues was again classic. He said: "I'm not going to ask him, you can if you want!" We talked about other sports including NASCAR racing and that led me to an amusing anecdote from long time driver and broadcaster Benny Parsons. In a race I was watching on TV, cars pitted relatively late in a race and most drivers put on their last set of sticker tires. Unfortunately after several laps on the track that was very hard on tires, a caution flew. Nearly every one pitted again, but what do you do about the tire situation? Parsons pointed out that the only thing to do was to put on a used set that had fewer laps than any others. As Benny Parsons pointed out: "it's like putting on your best dirty shirt!" Feherty and Parsons made me laugh, but they were not the main reason I was watching that day. I have had so many people tell me they simply cannot stand certain announcers. If a broadcaster they do not like is working an event, they will not watch it. I just don't understand that logic. Do you watch a game or race for the announcer? Or do you watch it for the event itself? I do like some announcers better than others, but I tune in for the sport. Besides if you really don't like the guy talking, turn the sound down! So our meandering day came to an end. The word meandering was chosen for the conclusion to this column because Chippewa has a small creek that does just that throughout the course. It really should not come into play on most holes, but there are four that can catch your ball if you are a bit off target. On this day I found that meandering little creek on three of them! Now that reminds me of a story that I could have shared with my playing companions this week. I guess it will have to wait until we play again. Thanks to Dean and Carver for making the day enjoyable. I'll see you soon, assuming the body heals up, the weather cooperates and all the stars align. Then again, maybe we can just meet up and share more stories. There is no reason that golf has to get in the way!